Will they think I’m weird or creepy?
What if they don’t want to talk?
What do I even say!?
Want to talk to people at a gym, improve your social skills and make new gym buddies?
Having approached thousands of strangers, I know firsthand that talking with strangers can be nerve-wracking:
- Social rejection: Not everyone wants to talk with someone they don’t know.
- Attractive gym-goers: Let’s be honest here, shall we 🙂
- Social anxiety/awkwardness/shyness: This makes it a lot harder to go up to a stranger.
That being said, starting a conversation with someone you don’t know is way easier than you think 🙂
More importantly, it can help you overcome your fear and become more confident — no matter what social situation you walk into. It’s that handy of a social skill 🙂
What makes me uniquely qualified to write about this?
I’ve had social anxiety since young, and while I love therapy, talking to strangers is the No. 1 thing that helped me become less anxious and awkward around people.
Over the last ten years — across three continents — I’ve started conversations with thousands of strangers. I’ve also interviewed well over 700 people for my projects (namely a street journalism project and a book).
Speaking about my experience talking with strangers at TEDx!
Specifically, when it comes to talking with strangers at gyms, I’m fortunate to have trained at gyms in different countries.
(I still get nervous when talking to people I don’t know, but it’s a fraction of the crippling fear I had back then!)In this article, I will share step-by-step how you can talk to strangers in a gym.
Why talk to strangers at a gym?
1. The more you talk with strangers, the better you will get at it.
Just like public speaking or party hosting, talking with strangers is a skill that you can practice and improve.
At a gym, you might even notice a quicker improvement, since you get multiple opportunities to practice being social in a fun environment.
2. Working out together helps you bond better.
This is especially true if you’re both engaged in reasonably intense activities (see research here).
3. You have multiple topics to spark conversations naturally:
- The gym environment
- Your workout routine
- Their workout routine
- Fitness in general
How do you start a conversation at a gym? (4 easy, proven ways)
OK, you said hi… what do you say next?
Here are a few conversation starters I like using. Notice that 1) they aren’t complicated or fancy, since your mind can go blank when you’re nervous. 2) they are environment-specific, which helps you sound natural.
Use or modify any of them based on your preferences!
1. Comment on the gym.
- “I love this gym — they have the best equipment.”
- “I definitely prefer this gym than <competing gym name>”
This is an easy way to gauge if they’re interested in chatting more.
2. Ask them for help.
- “Do you know how to use <a specific gym equipment>?”
- “Do you know where the <gym amenity> is?”
This is also a safe conversation starter since it requires a quick yes/no response.
3. Ask them for workout tips.
- “How should I run on the treadmill — any tips?”
- “I have no idea how I should lift these weights…”
By focusing on learning from others, you tap into your curiosity, which makes the conversation a lot easier.
Also, pssst: active gym-goers tend to be proud of their workout routine (I’ve definitely overshared… 🙂
Other tips to make it easier to start a conversation
1. Notice their body language.
Some people prefer working out without talking to anyone. If they have their headphones on, they won’t be as receptive to chatting.
2. Don’t interrupt a workout.
Not only can this be annoying, it can also be dangerous. Talk with your fellow gym-goers between their breaks instead.
3. Join a group class.
There’s natural camaraderie since you’re part of the same experience. You could motivate each other to keep going, and praise/complain about the class after.
I’d also recommend attending the same class for a period of time, say weeks or months. With enough time, other class participants will see you as a familiar face, and become a lot more willing to chat (God bless the mere-exposure effect!)
4. Participate in a gym challenge.
Just like group classes, gym challenges bring members together, but with one additional benefit:
By doing something challenging together, you bond a lot faster. A study shows that student groups who performed painful tasks felt more loyal and connected after the experiment.
5. Talk to the trainers.
Trainers are there to help you get the most value out of the gym. They will also have a far better sense of who you could talk to… and who you should avoid 🙂