Alright, you’re sitting around at a bar, either waiting for a friend or all by yourself.
And you notice that someone is right beside you, quietly sipping away at their beer.
How do you strike up a conversation without being creepy or awkward?
Here’s the good news — starting a conversation at a bar is easier than you think for a few reasons:
- People are more relaxed (the magic of alcohol 🍸✨)
- Many people expect to be talked to… or hit on (it’s a social environment)
In this article, I will share my favorite conversation starters to help you start conversations as smooth as Shirley Temple…
Make a toast to them
Saying hi is fine, but this can be a much better way to break the ice. This can be as simple as saying:
- “Cheers!” OR
- “Happy <day of week>!”
Will it be awkward if they don’t respond? Well, sometimes you gotta take the risk — if they make a toast back, the door to a conversation is now wide open 🙂
Ask them about their drink
Compliment them on their drink choice, and transition into a question to get them talking. Here are a few examples:
- “That looks good – what is it?”
- “Never seen your drink before – what’s the name of it?”
- “Ah, I wanted to get a negroni… how do you like it?”
As you aren’t asking them for personal information, almost everyone — unless they got dumped earlier in the day — will happily share their opinion.
Comment on the bar
Many bars have their own character, and it’d be a missed opportunity if you don’t use the interior as a conversation starter. I’d pay attention to a few things:
- The lineup of alcohol at the bar counter, especially if there are any unique bottles
- The wallpaper and lighting choices
- What furniture the bar has (or doesn’t have)
When you notice something interesting, you can make specific comments to grab their attention – here’s how to do so.
Ask them how to pair your liquor with food
When in doubt, enlist a stranger’s help. Research shows that people love helping others much more than you think. Here’s what to say:
- “What food/snack goes well with [your alcohol of choice]?”
- “What do you eat with [your alcohol of choice]?”
- “What would you pair with [your alcohol of choice]?” (a fancier way of saying ^)
Share a cool fact about the bar
This is if you’re familiar with the bar’s history.
All you have to say is: “Did you know that [insert bar fact]…”
Other tips to make it easier to start a conversation
Just say hi, damn it
Yes, I’m being Captain Obvious, but lotsa folks overthink how to approach a stranger at a bar — even when they’re sexually or romantically interested in them — which leads to “approach anxiety”.
You don’t need to be creative about starting a conversation — just be friendly, say hi, and give them space to respond either way.
Talk to the bartender
Bartenders are typically social and will go out of their way to make you happy. Here’s how to start a conversation with them.
Buy them a drink
While this can be a hit-or-miss — this often goes right into flirting territory — it can help you create rapport very quickly. Here’s how to do it, according to bartenders:
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