You’re going to a church, but you don’t know anyone…
How do you start making new friends?
In this article, I got my close friend Chip, a devout Christian, to share a few ways you can start a conversation at the church:
Understand their connection to the church
Their relationship with the church will determine what you say next. Here are questions that you can ask:
- Are you a new or regular member?
- Is this your first time visiting this church?
To help them open up, you can share about your connection to the church by saying something like “I’m new here…” and “I’ve been attending this church since…”
Welcome them to the church
If you’re a regular member of the church, welcome them to your church. You could simply say “Welcome to the church!”. If you know even a little bit about the church’s history, why not give them an introduction or share a few tidbits? Chip says:
“In general, make them feel welcomed. Jesus calls us to love Him wholeheartedly and love our neighbors like ourselves, so both of them are equally important and can’t be just one”
Say hi to their family member/friend
Chances are, they have a family member or friend who brought them in. Say hi and you make another new friend! If there’s rapport, Chip suggests: “invite them to have a coffee chat after to get to know them better.”
Understand why they are at church
People attend church for different reasons. By understanding their motivation, you naturally build a deeper relationship. Here are a few questions you could ask:
- What brings you to church?
- How did you find this church?
- What got you interested in this church?
As this reveals a lot about one’s beliefs, give them space to respond however they want. If they don’t seem receptive, approach the topic at another time.
Ask about connect groups
If you’re a new member, ask if you could join a connect group. If they’re the newcomer, check if they need help joining a connect group.
“Connect Groups consist of 8-12 people who meet weekly to do life together. These groups are designed to cultivate Christ-centered friendships that encourage, challenge, and focus our lives towards a growing relationship with Jesus.”
By asking or offering help, you build a relationship with them much easier. As Chip shared with me:
“I was shy, and I visited my church [Kingdomcity Singapore] for the second time… someone at the same row greeted me and ask if I’m interested to check out a connect group”
Other ways to make it easier to start a conversation
Volunteer at the church
Not only does volunteering help you meet members outside church service, it is also an avenue for you to meet like-minded people e.g. people who believe in the same social/community cause. There are many ways you can volunteer as a church member! Here’s a list to get you going: 27+ Ways To Volunteer At Church
Join a church conference
If you would like a deeper church-going experience, consider attending a church conference where you spend a few days with fellow members and deepen your faith. The immersive experience will lead to deeper, even lifelong, relationships.
If your church doesn’t have an upcoming conference — or hasn’t organized one before — why not take up leadership? According to Dr. Hal Seed, an experienced pastor, here are ten reasons why you should.