While gender roles have shifted dramatically in the last fifty years, the mother-son bond is still enduring… because duh, who are the ones giving birth?
Anyway, the relationship stakes are high. According to research, boys who have insecure attachments to their mothers — as a result of unmet needs — are more likely to be aggressive.
Conversely, researchers found that men who have warm childhood relationships with their mothers made $87,000 more a year on average than men who had uncaring mothers.
Given the importance of mom-son communication, how do you better communicate with your mom? Here’s a list of questions to get you started:
- What makes our mom-son relationship unique?
- How would you describe our relationship in one word/sentence?
- What does Mother’s Day mean to you?
- How has our relationship made you a better mom/son?
- What do you regret saying/doing as a mother/son? (Is there anything you would do differently?)
If you’re planning a mom-son date
- What do you think about mother-son dates?
- What’s your idea of a mother-son date?
- What do you think about [your mother-son date idea]?
- What should every mom and son do together?
- What do you enjoy doing together?
If you’re talking to your biological mother
- How did you decide you were going to have me?
- How was it like giving birth to me?
- What was your favorite memory of me?
- What was I like as a baby/teen?
- What was the hardest part of raising me?
- How have you grown as a mother?
- How have I grown as a son?
- What does being a mom mean to you?
If you were adopted, questions #1 and #2 won’t apply — here are a few additional questions instead:
If you’re talking to your adoptive mother
- What made you decide to adopt me? (this will most probably bring up difficult emotions, since a common reason is infertility)
- What was the best part of adoption?
- What was the hardest part of adoption?
- What do you wish you knew about adoption? // What do you wish other moms know about adoption?
- What was your first impression of me?
Related articles
- 28 deep conversation starters for parents and grown kids
- How to start a conversation with your parents as an adult
- 21 father-son conversation starters for deeper connection
- 10 family conversation starters for deeper connection
- How to keep the conversation going with someone older or more experienced