Rebecca Koay, M.Couns.
I’m currently a licensed counselor & psychotherapist at Greyspace Mental Health Services.
Mainly using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, I’ve worked with people who struggle with any form of anxiety, including social anxiety, by helping them acknowledge their emotions and cultivate helpful behaviors to move toward a purposeful life.
Before I transitioned into counseling, I was a dating coach at Lunch Actually, a dating company that has matched over 300,000 singles. I was also a people & culture exec at StashAway, a series D-funded fintech startup.
Now, the younger Rebeccca would be surprised to hear all this…
My social confidence story
Growing up, I was a shy and timid girl.
When people were having group conversations, I often felt as if I faded into the wall — no one would notice if I was gone. I was too timid to even order my food at a hawker center, afraid that I would sound stupid!
Thoughts that raced through my mind include…
- “I don’t think what I have to say is important”
- “People don’t like me”
- “People will judge me”
- “I will say something stupid”
So, what helped me to be more socially confident? Two things:
First, I learned that I’m not as important as I think I am. I might say something wrong or embarrassing, but with time no one will remember what I said.
Second, fear tells you about how important something is to you. I value people and relationships, and that’s why I was scared. Despite social anxiety, I’ve chosen to pursue what I believe and want in life. (After all, practice makes perfect!)
Education
BSc (Hons) Psychology and Cognitive Neuroscience, University of Nottingham Malaysia
Master of Professional Counseling, Monash University Malaysia