43 identity conversation starters: “Who am I without…”

So I was chatting with Sabrina, a good friend of mine, the other night… and this question blew our minds:

“Who am I without my achievements?”

— Khe Hy 

In an achievement-addicted society, it’s almost unthinkable to not be focused on your next goal or milestone. (Well, the next time you go to a dinner party, tell everyone that you have no goals whatsoever and notice their reaction…) 

Anyway, Khe’s question got me wondering…

What other questions can help you see yourself — and the invisible forces that shape your identity — with more clarity? 

Here’s a list of “Who am I without…” conversation starters:

Me questions 

1. Who am I without my achievements? 
2. Who am I without my job/title?
3. Who am I without my computer/phone?
4. Who am I without my most prized possessions? 
5. Who am I without my body? 
6. Who am I without my brain? (C’mon, you can do better than “zombie”)  
7. Who am I without my goals? 
8. Who am I without my productivity? 
9. Who am I without my habits? 
10. Who am I without my memories?
11. Who am I without my past?  
12. Who am I without my parents’/dad’s/mom’s influence? 
13. Who am I without society’s rules? 
14. Who am I without my family/friends? 
15. Who am I without my girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse?
16. Who am I without my anxiety/fears/worries? (you could specify an anxiety you have, like social anxiety) 
17. Who am I without my insecurities? 
18. Who am I without my pain? 
19. Who am I without my dreams?
20. Who am I without my values? 
21. Who am I without my purpose?

We questions 

1. Who are we without our houses? 
2. Who are we without our clothes? 
3. Who are we without our jobs? 
4. Who are we without technology? 
5. Who are we without superstitions?
6. Who are we without feelings? 
7. Who are we without logic? 
8. Who are we without money? 
9. Who are we without cars, trains, and planes? 
10. Who are we without art and/or music?
11. Who are we without color?
12. Who are we without books? 
13. Who are we without history and/or culture?
14. Who are we without religion? 
15. Who are we without law?  
16. Who are we without relationships?
17. Who are we without play?
18. Who are we without love?
19. Who are we without hate? 
20. Who are we without greed? 
21. Who are we without envy/jealousy? 
22. Who are we without lust?  

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