As a kid, I was never close to my father.
As an adult, I belatedly realized the importance of a healthy dad-son relationship, and put in years of effort to initiate conversations with him.
Based on my experience, here’s a list of questions to help you better communicate with your dad.
- What makes our dad-son relationship unique?
- How would you describe our relationship in one word/sentence?
- What does Father’s Day mean to you?
- How has our relationship made you a better father/son?
- What do you regret saying/doing as a dad/son? (Is there anything you would do differently?)
What it means to be a man
- What does being a man mean to you?
- How do you define your masculinity?
- How has your family shaped you as a man?
- Here’s how I define my masculinity… what do you think?
- What advice would you give to younger men?
- What skill(s) should all men know?
Talking about masculinity can be controversial these days… but a lot of men continue to be shaped by their father’s words and actions. By sharing your respective ideas of manhood, you grow as father and son.
Memories of you as a kid
- How did you decide you were going to have me?
- What was your favorite memory of me?
- What was I like as a baby/teen?
- What was the hardest part of raising me?
- How have I grown as a son?
If you were adopted, questions #1 and #2 won’t apply — here are a few additional questions instead:
If you’re talking to your adoptive father
- What made you decide to adopt me? (this will most probably bring up difficult emotions, since a common reason is infertility)
- What was the best part of adoption?
- What was the hardest part of adoption?
- What do you wish you knew about adoption? // What do you wish other dads know about adoption?
- What was your first impression of me?
Related articles
- 28 deep conversation starters for parents and grown kids
- How to start a conversation with your parents as an adult
- 23 mother-son conversation starters for deeper connection
- 10 family conversation starters for deeper connection
- How to keep the conversation going with someone older or more experienced