As a former digital nomad and a remote freelancer/entrepreneur, I know how daunting it can be to make friends in a new city. You probably have questions like…
- How do I meet new people?
- How do I start a conversation?
- And how do I deepen the relationship?
The good news is, all of these questions can be answered if you know where to meet like-minded folks. Why?
Being in the right place is half the battle, as you can increase the odds of other people wanting to get to know you before you even talk with them.
Over the last two decades, I’ve stayed on three continents — North America, Asia, and Europe — plus multiple cities. Each move required me to build new relationships or rebuild existing ones.
Before I share a few spots where you can connect with interesting people, here are some shortcuts to help you make friends faster:
1. Befriend people that you meet on a regular basis
This can be a work colleague, a fellow coworking space member, a neighbor, or even the cafe barista that fuels your morning coffee addiction every day 🙂
There are two reasons why you should seriously consider this:
- Save time: Carving out time in your schedule to make new friends takes extra effort. Talking to your colleague over lunch is a lot easier.
- Leverage the mere exposure effect: The more familiar you seem to others, the more likely they will be open to chatting.
2. Ask for intros
Whenever I move to a new city, I like asking my friends or collaborators if they could introduce me to folks they know well.
This helps me skip the whole do-I-trust-this-person dance — or, the small-talk-because-we-are-polite dance — and jump into meaningful conversations.
To make it easy for your friends or contacts to introduce you, here’s what you could say (modify based on your tone of voice, personality, etc.):
“I’m looking to meet new people in <city name>. Do you happen to know any good friends there?”
If they say yes, you could say something like:
>”Great! I’d love an intro. Here’s a bit more about me <what you do, an interesting/fun fact about you> and my email/phone number…”
3. Organize dinner parties
Upon first impression, organizing dinner parties can feel like a lot of work. Why would this be a low-hanging fruit to make new friends?
While hosting a dinner party takes effort, it’s one of the highest-ROI things you could do to nurture new friendships. Why?
- Dinner parties are more intimate than the usual social events, which helps people connect on a deeper level
- Guests will naturally pay attention to you, since you’re the star of the party
- You have the opportunity to bring interesting people together, which dramatically increases your social brownie points
If you’re interested in hosting a dinner party, here are a few tips that have worked for me:
- Start small. Start by inviting one person to dinner. Then, invite them and another friend of theirs. Once you’re comfortable, invite two people to dinner, each person would bring a plus one… you get the idea.
- Outsource cooking. Cooking and hosting at the same time is a Herculean feat. Just order pizzas, or turn your dinner party into a potluck.
I recommend checking out Jon Levy’s TED talk about how he invited influential people to his dinner parties.
Alright, moving on — here are a few ways you can meet people and make new friends in London.
4. Meet fellow entrepreneurs, freelancers or remote workers
Join a coworking space
Given the open office nature of coworking spaces, I’ve found it much easier to strike up conversations — even while soaping my hands in the public washroom!
Here are a few coworking spaces that others have rated highly:
Most coworking spaces are connected to cafes. I’d approach people when they’re relaxing with their coffee or lunch i.e. when they aren’t furiously typing away.
10 easy ways to talk to strangers at a cafe
Join an online community
If jumping into a coworking space feels too much at first, try online communities. Here are a few that I would recommend (still active, relatively spam-free)
- London Tech Meetups
- Indie London
- Business Networking and Growth
- London Fashion & Creative Startups
- Network & Social – London Networking Events
- Ethereum London
- Society Speakers
Having co-founded and managed online communities of hundreds of thousands of members, here are a few tips to get the most out of whatever community/group you join:
- Be a star member: Regularly engage with other members’ posts, leave positive comments and offer helpful ideas when requested.
- Take initiative: Depending on the community’s policies, suggest or organize events and invite other members to join.
- Get to know the community founders/moderators: They will be more open to connecting than typical members, since it’s in their incentives to have an active community. Also, they would have the best grasp on who you should connect with.
Attend a business conference or networking event
The biggest reason why people attend business events?
To connect with others.
Whether it’s learning from top experts, meeting industry peers, or finding potential collaborators, business event attendees are there to connect. Which makes it super easy for you to start conversations!
Here are four helpful resources for you:
- Eventbrite’s lists of upcoming conferences and networking events
- Meetup’s list of career & business events
- Interesting Talks London: Meetup group that has organized 500+ events on various topics
- 11 easy ways to talk to strangers at a conference
5. Join a hobby group (or create your own)
If you have the same hobby, you have a natural topic to spark conversations with.
This isn’t a complete list by any means, but I picked out popular hobby groups that are still active i.e. organized events in the last month or so.
- Movies, theater: Southbank Talkies: Movie Discussion Group, London Theatre & Film Meetup
- Songwriting: London Singer Songwriter Network
- Acting: Acting Gymnasium – unique weekly acting workshop
- Drawing: Life Drawing with ELSC
- Reading: London’s Friendly 20- and 30-Somethings Book Club!, Silent Book Club
- Photography: London Photographic
- Anime: London Anime Meetup Group
- History & culture: London Cultureseekers, London History & Culture, London Arts & Culture Group
29 hobbies conversation starters to spark meaningful conversations
Create your own hobby group
Being a Meetup or Facebook group founder gets you in the spotlight, which can help you make friends faster.
Join a festival, or volunteer at one!
Here’s Eventbrite’s list of upcoming festivals in London. Some festivals also accept volunteers, like the London Handel Festival and the London Strawberry Festival (yum).
6. Sweat it out together!
Working out together helps you bond better (see research here).
You could join group fitness classes or specific sports groups – see below.
Group fitness classes
- Victus Soul
- Foundry Bank (has other locations too like Foundry Vauxhall)
- Barry’s London Central
- 1Rebel St Mary Axe (has other locations too)
- London Fields Fitness Studio
You could also explore various gyms by getting a Classpass subscription.
8 easy ways to talk to people at a gym (without being creepy)
Sports/fitness groups
- Hiking: Weekday Walks – walking, hiking London
- Tennis: Tennis Academy
- Badminton: Central London Badminton Club, South West Strings Badminton Club
- Football: London Touch American Football Meetup🏈
- Ping pong: London Ping Pong Nights – Smashers & Slicers!
- Misc.: Sportas – the best way to play sports with others in London!
7. Be a volunteer
Similar to joining a hobby group, volunteering helps you meet like-minded people. A study shows that volunteers have more social connections than non-volunteers.
In fact, connecting with someone who believes in the same social cause and engaging in meaningful experiences together will deepen your budding friendship.
Volunteer at a nonprofit
While it’s by no means comprehensive, here’s a list of local nonprofits that I found most interesting:
- Dress For Success: their mission is to “to empower women to achieve economic independence by providing a network of support, professional attire and the development tools to help women thrive in work and in life.”
- FoodCycle: “combines surplus food, spare kitchen spaces and volunteers to create three-course meals for people at risk of food poverty and social isolation.” – Wikipedia
- Battersea: “At Battersea, we take in every animal who needs us. We give each one lots of love and expert care and get to know their characters and quirks so we can find them a new home that’s just right for them.”
- Shout: “Shout is the UK’s first and only free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope.”
- Kalayaan: “Kalayaan works with migrant domestic workers in the UK to improve and to help them access their rights.”
- KEEN: “We run free, engaging and accessible activities for children with additional needs and disabilities. Our inclusive services offer one-to-one support that helps children to thrive, develop and, most importantly, to have fun.”
You can also search for the most recent volunteer opportunities here and here.
Volunteer at science/culture centers
- Science Museum
- Imperial War Museums
- Natural History Museum
- British Museum
- Islamic Cultural Centre London
- Tate: “an institution that houses, in a network of four art galleries, the United Kingdom’s national collection of British art, and international modern and contemporary art.” – Wikipedia
8. Join a religious/spiritual organization
Going to the same place of worship? Chances are, you will end up becoming friends… or even romantic partners 🙂
As this study noted: “…religious service attendance is associated with an increased likelihood of subsequently making new friends, of marrying, of having nonreligious community membership, and of higher social support”.
Here’s a list of popular faith-based/spiritual organizations:
- Churches: St Martin-in-the-Fields, Temple Church, All Saints Church
- Mosques: East London Mosque, London Central Mosque, The Fazl Mosque London
- Synagogues: Bevis Marks Synagogue, Western Marble Arch Synagogue, New West End Synagogue – St.Petersburgh Place
- Hindu temples: Shree Ghanapathy Temple, London Sri Murugan Temple, London Sri Mahalakshmi Temple
- Buddhist temples: Buddhapadipa Temple, Fo Guang Shan London Temple, London Buddhist Centre
If you’re an agnostic or atheist, check out Sunday Assembly London.
9. Connect with people who are also ready to connect 🙂
Duh! So obvious right? But if you think about it, the success of new friendships depends on something most people — including myself — would hate to admit:
If the other person is interested in talking too.
That’s why it can be underrated to join general social groups, where people meet to simply connect and have fun. Embrace serendipity and check out these groups:
10. Talk with strangers in community spaces
Talking with strangers can be terrifying.
So how can you minimize the risk of social rejection?
Based on my experience approaching thousands of strangers, here’s a favorite tip of mine:
Talk with people who are not in a rush!
Whether they are window shopping or admiring nature, they will be a lot more likely to engage in conversation.
Here are a few community spaces that I recommend checking out:
Artisan/farmers’ markets
- Canopy Market
- Herne Hill Market
- Maltby Street Market
- The Truman Brewery Markets
- Borough Market
- Spitalfields Market
Community gardens
I picked out the ones that have been highly rated:
- Culpeper Community Garden
- Olden Community Garden
- Brockwell Park Community Greenhouses
- The Phoenix Garden
- Cultivate London