As a former digital nomad and a remote freelancer/entrepreneur, I know how daunting it can be to make friends in a new city. You probably have questions like…
- How do I meet new people?
- How do I start a conversation?
- And how do I deepen the relationship?
The good news is, all of these questions can be answered if you know where to meet like-minded folks. Why?
Being in the right place is half the battle, as you can increase the odds of other people wanting to get to know you before you even talk with them.
Over the last two decades, I’ve stayed on three continents — North America, Asia, and Europe — plus multiple cities including Toronto (more than two years). Each move required me to build new relationships or rebuild existing ones.
Before I share a few spots where you can connect with interesting people, here are some shortcuts to help you make friends faster:
1. Befriend people that you meet on a regular basis
This can be a work colleague, a fellow coworking space member, a neighbor, or even the cafe barista that fuels your morning coffee addiction every day 🙂
There are two reasons why you should seriously consider this:
- Save time: Carving out time in your schedule to make new friends takes extra effort. Talking to your colleague over lunch is a lot easier.
- Leverage the mere exposure effect: The more familiar you seem to others, the more likely they will be open to chatting.
2. Ask for intros
Whenever I move to a new city, I like asking my friends or collaborators if they could introduce me to folks they know well.
This helps me skip the whole do-I-trust-this-person dance — or, the small-talk-because-we-are-polite dance — and jump into meaningful conversations.
To make it easy for your friends or contacts to introduce you, here’s what you could say (modify based on your tone of voice, personality, etc.):
“I’m looking to meet new people in <city name>. Do you happen to know any good friends there?”
If they say yes, you could say something like:
>”Great! I’d love an intro. Here’s a bit more about me <what you do, an interesting/fun fact about you> and my email/phone number…”
3. Organize dinner parties
Upon first impression, organizing dinner parties can feel like a lot of work. Why would this be a low-hanging fruit to make new friends?
While hosting a dinner party takes effort, it’s one of the highest-ROI things you could do to nurture new friendships. Why?
- Dinner parties are more intimate than the usual social events, which helps people connect on a deeper level
- Guests will naturally pay attention to you, since you’re the star of the party
- You have the opportunity to bring interesting people together, which dramatically increases your social brownie points
If you’re interested in hosting a dinner party, here are a few tips that have worked for me:
- Start small. Start by inviting one person to dinner. Then, invite them and another friend of theirs. Once you’re comfortable, invite two people to dinner, each person would bring a plus one… you get the idea.
- Outsource cooking. Cooking and hosting at the same time is a Herculean feat. Just order pizzas, or turn your dinner party into a potluck.
I recommend checking out Jon Levy’s TED talk about how he invited influential people to his dinner parties.
Alright, moving on — here are a few ways you can meet people and make new friends in Toronto.
4. Meet fellow entrepreneurs, freelancers or remote workers
Join a coworking space
Given the open office nature of coworking spaces, I’ve found it much easier to strike up conversations — even while soaping my hands in the public washroom!
Here are a few coworking spaces that others have rated highly:
- East Room
- Startuptive – Coworking Space in Downtown Toronto
- Workhaus Coworking & Office Space
- Acme Works
- Project Spaces Camden Street
- Centre for Social Innovation – Annex (this was where I did my first internship!)
- Staples Studio Toronto – Midtown Coworking Space
- Thinktank Workspace Inc.
- The Village Hive Eglinton – Coworking & Meeting Space
- The Collective Workspace
Most coworking spaces are connected to cafes. I’d approach people when they’re relaxing with their coffee or lunch i.e. when they aren’t furiously typing away.
10 easy ways to talk to strangers at a cafe
Join an online community
If jumping into a coworking space feels too much at first, try online communities. Here are a few that I would recommend (still active, relatively spam-free)
- mindSHIFT
- Startups and Entrepreneurs Toronto
- Toronto startup incubating & networking community
- Silicon Drinkabout
- HackerNest
- The Bitcoin Bay
- Toastmasters – Bay Street Breakfast Club Meetup
- Toronto Marketing + Advertising Hangout
Having co-founded and managed online communities of hundreds of thousands of members, here are a few tips to get the most out of whatever community/group you join:
- Be a star member: Regularly engage with other members’ posts, leave positive comments and offer helpful ideas when requested.
- Take initiative: Depending on the community’s policies, suggest or organize events and invite other members to join.
- Get to know the community founders/moderators: They will be more open to connecting than typical members, since it’s in their incentives to have an active community. Also, they would have the best grasp on who you should connect with.
Attend a business conference or networking event
The biggest reason why people attend business events?
To connect with others.
Whether it’s learning from top experts, meeting industry peers, or finding potential collaborators, business event attendees are there to connect. Which makes it super easy for you to start conversations!
Here are four helpful resources for you:
- MaRS’s list of events that they host/support (Having visited their center many times, I’m a huge fan of how much they support entrepreneurs and innovators)
- Eventbrite’s lists of upcoming conferences and networking events
- Meetup’s list of career & business events in Toronto
- 11 easy ways to talk to strangers at a conference
5. Join a hobby group (or create your own)
If you have the same hobby, you have a natural topic to spark conversations with.
This isn’t a complete list by any means, but I picked out popular hobby groups that are still active i.e. organized events in the last month or so.
- Acting: The Actor’s Place (TAP)
- Art: Drink and Draw Toronto, Arts & Recreation Toronto, Comic Arts Social Toronto, The Toronto Artist’s Way Meetup
- Reading: Non-fiction Book Club Meetup Group, The downtown Toronto book club (Gen X + Millennials)
- Photography: Toronto Travel & Outdoor Photography, ShutterObi – Toronto Photography Community
- Music: Toronto Friends of Classical Music, Toronto Amateur Pianist Recital, Toronto Electronic Dance Music Events Meetup group
- Theater: Thumbs Up Theatre, Shakespeare and a Drink (and maybe sometimes a movie, too)
- Movies: Toronto Classic Films, Toronto Movies and Outings Group
- Board games: Beer and Casual Board Games, Toronto Dungeons & Dragons Meetup
- Chess: Pub Chess Toronto
- Survival skills: Ontario Prepper Survival Network,
29 hobbies conversation starters to spark meaningful conversations
Create your own hobby group
Being a Meetup or Facebook group founder gets you in the spotlight, which can help you make friends faster.
Join a festival, or volunteer at one!
Here’s Eventbrite’s list of upcoming festivals in Toronto.
Some festivals also accept volunteers, like Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) and Toronto Fringe Festival.
If you prefer going in a group, you can join this Meetup group: Toronto Arts & Culture.
6. Sweat it out together!
Working out together helps you bond better (see research here).
You could join group fitness classes or specific sports groups – see below.
Group fitness classes
- Various locations: YMCA
- Downtown: Fit Factory Spadina, FLYT Club
- West-end: Soul Fuel Fitness, Conquer Fitness
- East-end: MOVE fitness club, One Academy, BOMB Fitness
- Mid-town: Fit Factory Midtown, CORE BY JOSHUA LIPSEY
You could also explore various gyms by getting a Classpass subscription.
8 easy ways to talk to people at a gym (without being creepy)
Sports/fitness groups
- Running: Explore Toronto: Running
- Walking: Walking Adventures with Deb, Walking in Toronto
- Hiking: Outdoor Cardio Ravine Explorers, Explore Toronto: Fast Hikes, These Boots Are Made for Hiking
- Dancing: Toronto Shuffle Dance Community, Galaxy Dance Club
- Soccer: Toronto Soccer Meetup
- Volleyball: Volleyball And Mingling with Locals
- Various sports: Misfits Sports & Rec
7. Be a volunteer
Similar to joining a hobby group, volunteering helps you meet like-minded people. A study shows that volunteers have more social connections than non-volunteers.
In fact, connecting with someone who believes in the same social cause and engaging in meaningful experiences together will deepen your budding friendship.
Volunteer at a nonprofit
While it’s by no means comprehensive, here’s a list of local nonprofits that I found most interesting:
- Toronto City Mission: “Toronto’s oldest and longest running outreach to people living in poverty.”
Similar organization: United Way - Second Harvest Toronto: “Canada’s largest food rescue organization.”
Similar organization: FoodShare - SickKids Foundation: “Established in 1972, SickKids Foundation raises funds on behalf of The Hospital for Sick Children (SickKids) and is the largest charitable funder of child health research, learning and care in Canada.”
- Toronto People With Aids Foundation: “Providing practical support to people living with HIV/AIDS since 1987”
- Rexdale Women’s Centre: They “support immigrant, refugee and newcomer women and their families to become fully participating members in Canadian society.”
- Covenant House Toronto: They are “the largest agency in Canada serving youth who are homeless, trafficked or at risk.”
- Furniture Bank: they “pick up unwanted furniture and help a family in need”.
- Kids Help Phone: “Canada’s only 24/7 e-mental health service offering free, confidential support to young people in English and French.”
You can also search for the most recent volunteer opportunities here.
Volunteer at science/culture centers
- Let’s Talk Science
- SciXchange
- Royal Canadian Institute for Science
- Chinese Cultural Centre of Greater Toronto
- Italian Cultural Centre
- Royal Ontario Museum
- Toronto Railway Museum
- Gardiner Museum (Canada’s national ceramic museum)
- Aga Khan Museum
- Art Gallery Of Ontario
- Arts in the Parks
- Textile Museum of Canada
And, here’s a list of volunteer opportunities with the City of Toronto.
8. Connect with people who are also ready to connect 🙂
Duh! So obvious right? But if you think about it, the success of new friendships depends on something most people — including myself — would hate to admit:
If the other person is interested in talking too.
That’s why it can be underrated to join general social groups, where people meet to simply connect and have fun. Embrace serendipity and check out these groups:
- Try New Things in Toronto!
- Soul City Social Club (Toronto, Canada)
- Toronto Nightlife
- ! Downtown Social Mixer
- Toronto Digital Nomads & Avid Travelers
- TAGEO – Toronto Asian Group Events & Outings
- GenYYZ (20s and 30s)
- Blooom
- LIFE BEGINS @ 40 SOCIAL GROUP!!!
- Single Friends Connection
- Desi Singles: Social & Cultural Events
9. Talk with strangers in community spaces
Talking with strangers can be terrifying.
So how can you minimize the risk of social rejection?
Based on my experience approaching thousands of strangers, here’s a favorite tip of mine:
Talk with people who are not in a rush!
Whether they are window shopping or admiring nature, they will be a lot more likely to engage in conversation.
Here are a few community spaces that I recommend checking out:
Artisan/farmers’ markets
- Toronto Artisan Market
- Queen Street Marketplace
- Kensington Flea Bazzar
- Saturday Farmers Market
- Sunday Artisan & Vintage Market
- Downsview Park Merchant’s Market
- Artscape Wychwood Barns
Community gardens
The city of Toronto has a comprehensive list here, but I picked out the ones that have been highly rated:
- Alex Wilson Community Garden
- Oakvale Green Community Gardens
- York University Maloca Community Garden
- Leslie Street Allotment Gardens
- High Park Children’s Garden & Teaching Kitchen
Parks
Again, the city of Toronto has a monster list right here, but here are my favorites 🙂