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Disclaimer: My content is NOT a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. When in doubt, ask a therapist!
Did someone wipe out your memory for a minute (or more)?
That’s how it can feel like when your mind draws blanks in a conversation.
Mind blanking is more common than you think. Researchers said that this is an “everyday phenomenon” where our brain goes offline, especially during boring or repetitive tasks.
In social situations, this can be embarrassing and even anxiety-triggering.
So how can you bring your brain back online and continue the conversation? Here are a few strategies:
Pause the conversation
When the anxiety is too overwhelming, it’s OK to request a pause to the conversation. Having a mental reset before talking again can ease the nerves.
Simply say: “I need a quick break… “
(If your mind-blanking is more of a result of fatigue, consider grabbing a snack or taking a quick walk outside.)
Reframe how you see mind blanking
Yale School Of Medicine professors recommended seeing mind blanking as a normal stress response:
“…you can say to yourself, “This is just my brain trying to save me from a tiger.” Maybe it will bring a comforting smile to your face even if it does not bring the correct answer or word to mind.”
In other words, think of it as an “automatic braking system” for your emotions, which might help you view the behavior more compassionately.
Focus on the conversation again
It’s easy to blame yourself for having a lapse of attention. But when you start criticizing yourself, your mind drifts further away from the conversation!
What’s more helpful is to gently acknowledge the lapse, along with your desire to change what’s just happened. Then, take a deep breath, and bring your attention back to the conversation.
It can help to see the moment of mind blanking as a “movie intermission” or a commercial break — one where you were briefly absent, but you’re now back for the main show (the conversation!)
Let the other person know what just happened
If they were asking you about what they just said, it’s totally OK to admit your attention lapse upfront. You could say something like:
- “Sorry, I blanked out — could you repeat?”
- “Sorry, had a brain fart just now — what did you just say?”
They will most likely be able to relate, since they will have experienced it too… unless they are aliens from Mars 🙂
If you feel particularly bad about blanking out, you could label your emotion, which helps reduce your anxiety. For example:
“I feel embarrassed, but my mind blanked out…”
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