23 mother-son conversation starters for deeper connection

While gender roles have shifted dramatically in the last fifty years, the mother-son bond is still enduring… because duh, who are the ones giving birth?  Anyway, the relationship stakes are high. According to research, boys …

While gender roles have shifted dramatically in the last fifty years, the mother-son bond is still enduring… because duh, who are the ones giving birth? 

Anyway, the relationship stakes are high. According to research, boys who have insecure attachments to their mothers — as a result of unmet needs — are more likely to be aggressive.

Conversely, researchers found that men who have warm childhood relationships with their mothers made $87,000 more a year on average than men who had uncaring mothers. 

Given the importance of mom-son communication, how do you better communicate with your mom? Here’s a list of questions to get you started: 

  1. What makes our mom-son relationship unique? 
  2. How would you describe our relationship in one word/sentence? 
  3. What does Mother’s Day mean to you?
  4. How has our relationship made you a better mom/son?
  5. What do you regret saying/doing as a mother/son? (Is there anything you would do differently?) 

If you’re planning a mom-son date

  1. What do you think about mother-son dates? 
  2. What’s your idea of a mother-son date? 
  3. What do you think about [your mother-son date idea]?
  4. What should every mom and son do together? 
  5. What do you enjoy doing together? 

If you’re talking to your biological mother 

  1. How did you decide you were going to have me?
  2. How was it like giving birth to me?
  3. What was your favorite memory of me? 
  4. What was I like as a baby/teen?
  5. What was the hardest part of raising me?
  6. How have you grown as a mother?
  7. How have I grown as a son?
  8. What does being a mom mean to you? 

If you were adopted, questions #1 and #2 won’t apply — here are a few additional questions instead:

If you’re talking to your adoptive mother

  1. What made you decide to adopt me? (this will most probably bring up difficult emotions, since a common reason is infertility)
  2. What was the best part of adoption? 
  3. What was the hardest part of adoption?
  4. What do you wish you knew about adoption? // What do you wish other moms know about adoption? 
  5. What was your first impression of me?

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