Will they think I’m weird or creepy?
What if they don’t want to talk?
What do I even say!?
Want to talk to strangers on a plane and improve your social skills?
Having approached thousands of strangers, I know firsthand that talking with strangers can be nerve-wracking:
- Social rejection: Not everyone wants to talk with someone they don’t know. A good % of people will turn you down.
- Social anxiety/awkwardness/shyness: This makes it a lot harder to go up to a stranger.
That being said, starting a conversation with someone you don’t know is way easier than you think 🙂
1. Most people are comfortable sharing about themselves, and many actually love doing so. (Provided that it’s in the right environment and context!)
2. The more you talk with strangers, the better you will get at it. Just like public speaking or party hosting, talking with strangers is a skill that you can practice and improve.
More importantly, it can help you overcome your fear and become more confident — no matter what social situation you walk into. It’s that handy of a social skill 🙂
What makes me uniquely qualified to write about this?
I’ve had social anxiety since young, and while I love therapy, talking to strangers is the No. 1 thing that helped me become less anxious and awkward around people.
Over the last ten years — across three continents — I’ve started conversations with thousands of strangers. I’ve also interviewed well over 700 people for my projects (namely a street journalism project and a book).
Speaking about my experience talking with strangers at TEDx!
In this article, I will share step-by-step how you can talk to strangers on the plane.
(You can use these tips to talk with strangers at the airport too, especially when you’re waiting to board.)
Why talk to strangers on the plane?
When I travel, I love talking with strangers on the plane — whether it’s the passenger beside me, or the flight attendant.
1. Most people are open to chatting. Two reasons why:
- Boredom: There are only so many movies you can watch!
- Curiosity: This is especially true if the person is traveling.
2. It helps you become more social during your trip.
When you travel, chances are that you have to ask for directions and other kinds of assistance. Why not start talking with strangers before you arrive at your destination?
How do you start a conversation? (5 easy, proven ways)
OK, you said hi… what do you say next?
Here are a few conversation starters I like using. Notice that 1) they aren’t complicated or fancy, since your mind can go blank when you’re nervous. 2) they are environment-specific, which helps you sound natural. Use or modify any of them based on your preferences!
1. Comment on the flight duration.
- “Thank goodness it’s a short flight!”
- “Welp, a 12-hour flight isn’t fun right?”
This is an easy conversation starter, since flying isn’t always the most pleasant experience — especially if you’re doing long-distance.
2. Ask if this is the first time they are going to the destination.
- “Is this your first time flying to <destination name>?”
- “Have you been to <destination name> before?”
This is also a low-effort conversation starter, since it’s a close-ended question (only requires a yes/no response). Here’s how you could follow up:
- If they say yes, ask how they feel about the trip or destination.
- If they say no, ask them about their previous experience(s).
3. Ask them for travel recommendations.
- “Any sightseeing spots that you recommend?”
- “Any restaurants/cafes/bars that you recommend?”
This depends if they’ve visited the destination before. If they have no idea, you could offer your opinion: “ah, I heard that lots of folks love <tourist attraction>…”
4. Ask them for in-flight entertainment recommendations.
- “Not sure what to watch…. any movies/albums you recommend?”
- “What’s your favorite movie?”
Movies are a great way to spend your time in flight, which makes them a natural conversation topic.
5. Ask them about the in-flight food/drinks.
- “How did you find the meal/drinks?”
- “Man, the meal was better than what I had on <airline name>”
Airline meals are fun to talk about, since they usually trigger some reaction: some people love them, others hate them.
Alternative: You could comment on the meal/drinks and see what they say in response.
Other tips to make it easier to start a conversation
1. See if they have open body language.
Talking to people on the plane can be tricky, since you don’t get much personal space, and people can be more reluctant to engage in conversation.
If they have their headphones on and/or if they seem fully focused on whatever they’re doing, they might not be receptive to chatting.
The best time to approach them is when they’re having a meal… or when they’re sipping their wine (most people tend to be much more relaxed after their first glass. Just sayin’)
2. Research the destination beforehand.
If you’re able to remember a few interesting facts about the destination, use them to spark conversations.