Did you know that Jack Ma loves singing in public?
Even the most boring/quiet guy has a hobby he’s obsessed about.
That’s why I enjoy learning about other people’s hobbies: they reveal a personal and often surprising side of the other person, making the conversation a lot more meaningful and interesting.
So how can you talk with someone about their hobbies or interests?
Here’s a list of hobbies conversation starters and questions to consider:
What makes me uniquely qualified to write about this?
Over the last ten years — across three continents — I’ve started conversations with thousands of strangers. I’ve also interviewed well over 700 people for my projects (namely a street journalism project and a book).
Speaking about my experience talking with strangers at TEDx!
In other words, I’ve asked more questions to spark meaningful conversations than most people.
I can’t guarantee that my conversation starters will work every single time, but I’d like to think that I have a better gut sense of great vs. blah questions.
When and how to use these questions
No hard rules per se, but here are a few suggestions:
- Ask one question at a time. Gauge their response before going deeper. If they seem disinterested in the topic, switch to something else instead.
- Balance between asking and talking. Make sure that you share your answer to the same question, or comment on their answer, so that the conversation doesn’t become an interrogation… I’ve been guilty of that.
- Most importantly, modify the questions and brainstorm new ones based on what sounds/feels most natural to you.
Why is that important? Different people have different ways of saying things: the more you can tailor any conversation starter to your tone of voice, the easier you will find using it.To make this more usable for you, I’ve tried introducing variations of the same question 🙂
With that said, let’s jump in!
Small talk
- What do you do to relax after work?
- What do you do for fun? // How do you enjoy spending your free time?
- Any weekend hobbies?
- What’s your favorite hobby? // What’s your favorite way to spend your free time?
- Do you enjoy <a popular hobby, or one that you enjoy>?
- Have you heard of any hobby groups in town? // Have you heard of any interesting hobby groups?
- What hobbies did you have growing up?
- What hobbies do you do with your family/friends?
Fun questions
- What hobby have you been meaning to try?
- What’s the craziest/strangest/weirdest hobby that you’ve come across?
- Fill in the blanks: “Before I die, I would like to try <specific hobby>”
- If you’re a dictator, what hobby would you order everyone to take up? // What hobby should everyone take up and why?
- Based on your first impression of me, what hobbies do you think I have?
- Would you rather take up <weird hobby #1> or <weird hobby #2>?
(My version: Would you rather collect in-flight sick bags or navel fluff? Yes, both are real – see here and here) - If you had all the money in the world, what would you collect and why?
- Would you rather do dangerous-but-fun hobbies or boring-but-safe hobbies?
- What are you secretly obsessed about in your free time?
Deeper questions
- What was the last thing you enjoyed doing?
- Is it ever OK to do your hobby at work?
- Would you ever turn your hobby into a career or business? Why or why not?
- How much time would you like to spend on work vs. hobbies? Why?
- Would you rather have more money but less time for hobbies, or have less money but more time for hobbies?
- What would you enjoy doing anyway, even if you aren’t paid?
- Is there a hobby that you’re embarrassed about? What is it (if you don’t mind sharing)?
- How have your hobbies changed over time? (What does it say about you as a person?)
- What childhood hobby do you miss having?
- How have your hobbies made you a better person/leader/father etc.?
- What hobby has changed your life and why?
- If a hobby starts getting boring, how do you keep yourself interested? // If a hobby starts getting boring, when do you decide to stop doing it?
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