When it comes to chatting up baristas, there are two alternate realities…
Reality #1: The barista gets your order. You thank them and leave. No conversation whatsoever.
Reality #2: The barista gets your order. You ask them an interesting question. They laugh and respond. You get to know them a bit more.
Despite my social anxiety, reality #2 is where I’m at. I’ve chatted up baristas whenever I get my cuppa, and most of these conversations are pleasant and even delightful.
And to give you an idea of what baristas are actually thinking, I interviewed two ex-baristas: Dean Yeong, the Growth Product Manager of AppSumo, and Si Teng Wong, the community manager of FutureLab.my.
Say hi and smile
This is the easiest and often most effective conversation starter, especially when the barista is busy.
Ask about their day
Here are a few examples of what you could ask:
- How’s your day going?
- Quiet <morning/afternoon/evening> so far?
- Busy day/evening for you?
If they brush off the comment, that’s OK! Give them space and approach them on another day.
Ask about their favorite drink
- What’s your favorite drink?
- What would you recommend?
Baristas are often coffee aficionados, and they enjoy talking about their favorite drinks.
And if you want to be playful, you could ask one of the following questions (just make sure that the barista isn’t too busy):
- What’s the one drink that you won’t recommend?
- Would you mind picking my drink for me?
- Could you custom-make a drink for me?
- Could you make me a drink that’s not on the menu?
- Do you have a secret menu?
(I did some research and I found a website that’s entirely dedicated to Starbucks’ secret menu. Is it legit? Well, give it a shot and lemme know.)
Learn coffee lingo
Dean said: “Most baristas are somewhat passionate about [coffee-related topics].” Here’s a list of questions he recommended:
- What’s your espresso blend?
- What’s your favorite blend?
- Where do you source the beans?
- What’s your favorite single-origin coffee?
- Do you brew coffee at home too?
- Do you serve hand-brewed coffee?
- What’s your favorite brewing method?
- What espresso machine do you use?
- What grinder do you use?
- What’s your dream coffee machine or equipment?
Ask what their name is
Being able to address them by their name makes you sound friendly and makes them feel good.
(This tip is especially helpful if you’re a regular — it helps you get better service and better conversations.)
You can simply ask, “What’s your name?” or introduce yourself, “I’m ___. What’s your name?” And if you’re unsure about the spelling of their name, just get them to spell it.
Now, let’s say that they have a name tag. What you can do is, ask them for their preferred pronunciation:
- How do I pronounce your name?
- <name> – did I say it right?
You could also be curious and ask, “So, what does your name mean?”
Thank them for the coffee/tea
If they made you a beautiful latte — or a wake-the-f-up potent Americano — walk up to the counter and express your appreciation.
- That was an amazing <drink name>!
- Thanks for making my <drink name> — I really enjoyed it!
- Wow, that was the best <drink name> I’ve ever had.
If they are receptive, you could follow up by asking, “How did you make it?”
Compliment them on their work uniform or accessory
Some cafes — especially the franchised ones — provide uniforms for their employees. Others have a looser dress code. Either way, most people care about how they look to others.
You can give them a compliment on…
- Their overall look
- Their work shirt/T-shirt
- Their barista apron (if they’re wearing one)
- A badge or pin on their apron
- Their hat (this is less common)
Joke about how many cups of coffee you had
If you’re in the Coffee Addicts Club like me, this is a fun way to engage the barista: they will relate to it instantly. Here’s what you could say:
- “I need to quit coffee…”
- “I’m having way too much coffee today….”
- “This is my __nth cup of coffee…”
Ask them about their work experience
If they’re open to chatting more, ask them about what got them working as a barista. Here are questions you could ask:
Small talk
- How long have you been working here?
- How long have you been a barista?
Deeper questions
- What made you decide to work as a barista?
- What got you working here?
- What do you enjoy the most about working here?
- What would make a perfect day for you?
- Who was the best customer you had and why?
- Who was the craziest customer you dealt with?
- What was your most memorable moment as a barista?
Make sure that you alternate between asking questions and talking, so that they don’t feel pressured to answer one question after another 🙂
Learn more about their experience starting a coffee business
For smaller, independent cafes, the owner is usually the one running the show.
” I could go deeper to talk about work/business when I found that the barista is also the owner/founder of the place.”
— Dean
Once you build enough rapport, you could ask them questions like…
- What makes your cafe unique?
- What’s the most surprising challenge about running a cafe?
- What are the qualities of a great barista?
For general questions, check out this article of mine:
7 ways to start a conversation with a retail store owner (without being awkward)
Ask them non-work questions
Once they get comfortable talking with you, you could get to know them personally. Here are a few resources to help you nurture a new friendship:
- Conversation starters with new friends, or people you just met
- Other tips to make it easier to start a conversation at a cafe
- 25 useful phrases to keep a conversation going (and avoid awkward silence)
Small talk tips if you’re a barista
If you’re a barista and are wondering how to have friendly small talk with your customers, you can simply start with a hi and smile (works just as well!)
Here are a few other tips:
1. Make sure that you get their name and order right
Is Ian the Captain Obvious of the day? Well, this is actually an underrated tip. We’ve all heard horror stories of how a barista butchered a customer’s name…
If you didn’t hear their name and especially order clearly, clarify upfront. It shows that you care about their experience, which then makes them more receptive to chatting.
Here’s what Si Teng recommends saying:
“So sorry but could you repeat your name/order? I just want to make sure I get your name/order right”
2. Ask if this is their go-to drink
Humans are creatures of habit. My drink of choice is iced long black, and I’ll probably stick to it till the day I chill in my coffin. Here’s what you could say:
- Is this your favorite drink?
- Oh, this is my go-to drink!
3. Talk to customers during quiet hours
If a customer is in a rush, or if there’s a long waiting line, it wouldn’t be the best time to strike up conversations. Early mornings or late afternoons might be a better bet.
4. Just be helpful
The best conversation starters won’t matter if the tone of the conversation isn’t friendly. Never tolerate abusive customers, of course, but Si Teng’s advice is this:
“Have a genuine heart to help and meet their needs. And when there are angry customers, you don’t have to respond defensively — they might just be having a bad day.”
Related articles
- 10 easy ways to talk to strangers at a cafe
- 9 easy ways to start a conversation with a waiter (without being awkward)
- Why do I get anxious before socializing?