Conversation starters with new friends, or people you just met

Table of Content

You met someone new, and you’d like to get to know them.

But how do you go from small talk to a deeper connection?

Here are a few tested-and-proven conversation topics I recommend when talking with new friends or acquaintances:

Weather & traffic

While small talk about the mundane day-to-day can be boring, the benefit is that everyone has something to say about these topics. More importantly, they help you build rapport, which is crucial at the start of any relationship.

How’s the weather today?
How’s the weather back in your hometown/country?
When is it usually sunny/rainy/windy these days?
How was the commute/traffic today?
When is traffic the worst?
What time do you usually leave for work/head back home?

Here are a few more questions to make weather/traffic chat a bit more fun:

Anything interesting on the commute today?
Man, wouldn’t it be amazing if there were no cars on the road except mine?
Would you rather swim or hike to work?
Whoever gets the weather right gets a free coffee. Deal?
Why are weather forecasts so inaccurate?
Would you rather have four seasons or all-year round sun?

Gossip (seriously)

Given how misunderstood gossip is, let’s get the facts right…

a) Only 3-4 % of gossip is actually harmful (!)
b) Gossip is how we share information with each other, as TIME reported. And that’s why it takes up 66% of our conversations.

Here are a few ways to gossip away (stay on the positive side!):

Have you heard that [news]…
What’s your take on [news]?
It blows my mind that… / I can’t believe that… / I’m so amazed that…

Career and lifestyle choices

Talking about one’s career and lifestyle (where they stay etc.) would generally be considered small talk, which means that most acquaintances will be happy to share more on these topics.

And when you ask the right questions about their career and lifestyle choices, you will get to know them a lot better. Why? We are the sum of the decisions we make — especially important ones like deciding one’s career and lifestyle. Here are specific questions you can ask:

Leisure activities (hobbies, sports etc.)

Once you have a baseline understanding of their career and lifestyle, get curious about how they spend their leisure time.

This helps you discover a personal side of themselves — one that might not be obvious based on their professional background or role. The most common leisure activities are related to sports, hobbies and food.

Goals & dreams

Once you build enough rapport, probe a lil’ more: What’re they trying to accomplish professionally and personally? What drives them to do what they do? What do they truly care about?

This helps you find ways to encourage or support them, which deepens the relationship. Here are lists of questions you can ask:

How to keep the conversation going

Asking the right questions — while absolutely crucial — is only part of what makes a meaningful conversation. How can you keep the conversation flowing? Here are useful phrases and techniques to never run out of things to talk about:

Best places to make new friends

When it comes to meeting new people and making new friends, some places are better than others. Based on my experience, I recommend places where people are already actively socializing. Here are a few examples: