The bartender is making your drink… and the silence sets in.
Do you just wait for your drink? Or do you say something?
Nothing wrong with the former, but the latter can lead to conversations that transform your bar experience into a magical one.
Marie, a bartender who’s worked at multiple bars for over two decades, says:
“The human interaction is what makes bartenders feel like they’re people too. You might run into a gruff bartender who doesn’t want to chat, but most are pretty outgoing people. They wouldn’t be in this industry if they didn’t like talking to strangers.”
Their job is to make sure that you have a great time, after all.
In this article, I will share tips that have helped me get great booze and service. And to give you an idea of how bartenders actually think, I interviewed Nico, the owner of Concubine KL (one of my favorite bars!)
Say hi and smile
Bars get busy and even rowdy, which makes it hard to carry a proper conversation.
Sometimes all you really get to say is a brief hi and nod, and that’s OK — a friendly impression is what you need to start the night on a good note.
👉 Recommended article: How to keep a conversation going when it’s too noisy
Ask their name
What I said above. If they have an unusual name, you could follow up by asking “What does your name mean?”
This sounds like such a basic tip, but it’s underrated. Why? From my experience, once they’re willing to disclose their names —something small about themselves— it’s a lot easier to get them to share other things. (In other words, the foot-in-the-door effect!)
Comment on their evening
If the bar isn’t too crazy, ask them about their evening/night. Here are a few ways to go about it:
- How’s your evening?
- Busy evening for you?
- Wow, I didn’t expect that many people tonight! What’s the occasion?
Get them to recommend their favorites
Most bartenders will have an opinion on what drinks you should get (…unless you went to McBar and all the bartenders were trained to say the same thing).
By inviting them to share their opinions, you naturally learn more about them. Here’s what you could ask…
- What’s your favorite drink?
- What would you recommend?
If you want to be playful, you could ask one of the following questions:
- What’s the one drink that you won’t recommend?
- Is there a secret drink menu?
- Could you surprise me with something?
- Could you make me your favorite drink?
Now, if you are gonna ask for something special, let the bartender know what flavors, ingredients, and liquors you like in your drink — that will make their job a lot easier!
Compliment them on their skills
If you enjoyed your drink, walk up to the bar and let them know. It’s as simple as saying “The <drink name> was great” or “That was a great <drink name>”
You could follow up by asking “How did you make it?” and even getting them to recommend something else.
Folks in the service industry have more than their fair share of rude customers. By being the complete opposite, you will leave a glowing impression on the bartender 🙂
Ask them about their bartending experience
If your bartender has been open to small talk, you could go a bit deeper by asking them about their bartending journey. Here’s a list of questions that you could try:
- How long have you been working here?
- How long have you been a bartender?
- What got you working here?
- What do you like the most about working here?
- How is it like working here?
- What would make a perfect day for you?
- What was the craziest customer you dealt with?
- What’s your most memorable experience/moment as a bartender?
Make sure to alternate between asking questions and talking — it’s a conversation, not an interrogation 🙂
Ask them non-work questions
Once they get comfortable talking with you, you could get to know them personally. Here are a few helpful resources:
- Conversation starters with new friends, or people you just met
- 25 useful phrases to keep a conversation going (and avoid awkward silence)
- Lists of conversation starters (organized by topic)
For the bartender: how to make small talk with your guests
If you’re a bartender and you want to give your guests a great experience, what do you say/don’t say?
Nico, the owner of Concubine KL, says: “You always have to improvise and read the situation”. That makes a lot of sense, especially given the dynamic bar environment.
That being said, he suggested a few conversation starters that will work in every single situation:
1. Introduce yourself and your role at the bar
2. Ask how they heard about the venue
3. Ask if everything is okay regarding the food, drinks, and service
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